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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?